Announcing My New Business

I’m happy to announce that I’ve started a new business. This is a side gig right now, but once this takes off, I expect to become independently wealthy from it.

:drumroll: Announcing…..

The JVM Jargon Generator

Years of toiling away with Java Virtual Machine (JVM) technologies made me realize that the only thing that really matters when developing in the JVM space is that you can intelligently talk about it. These complex projects rarely get deployed to production or used by users, so it’s usually sufficient to just have a headline and be able to talk circles around your businesspeople to confuse them. Then, you can go have a beer.

Written in state of the art Kotlin using complex AI (if/else blocks and switch statements) it is truly a groundbreaking piece of technology.

Please send me copious amounts of money so I can buy a beach house and retire. Thanks!